Love Makes Good Impressions

As I've shared, I'm going through The Love Dare book as my devotional. It's really been helping me to be more purposeful with the little amount of time Brian and I have together each day.

One of the days I read about recently was focused on how to greet your spouse. It talked about how we great out friends, new people when we're introduced, and even strangers. Then, it asked us to consider how we greet our spouse. After all, greetings show your care for others, your joy for seeing them, and it should make them feel good.

I have to be honest, I haven't been doing a great job of this. I could blame it on the hustle in the morning, when we say a quick "Bye" as we each leave with one kid, headed to daycare or school. I could blame it on the hustle in the kitchen of me finishing up dinner when Brian arrives home from work, but that's pretty much a cop out. I got lazy and I don't think my greetings had showed my love for Brian.

Our task for the day was to think of a purposeful way to greet our spouse, letting them know how important they are to us. Since then, I make sure to give Brian a kiss goodbye and tell him I love him. When he's gets home, I make sure to stop what I'm doing to say hello and ask about his day. 

Greetings show that we find value in someone else, that they matter, that we "see" them. We do this with even strangers, shouldn't we do it even more with our spouse? Maybe you're really great at this, maybe not. Regardless, I think it's an easy way to show our spouses we care. 

It's been nice to wear my work clothes again. I've had this jacket for Loft for a few years now, but this jacket is super similar and on sale. I got this dress last spring in a few colors when it went on super sale, but Target has fit and flare dresses again this fall and in some great colors too! I would say the hardest part of going back to school, clothing wise, is trading my sandals for heels. It just seems so much more painful...literally this year. Wearing shoes that are leather, does help, but I miss my sandals!

The Appreciation Room

I shared with you all that I had decided to do The Love Dare book again as my devotional. I'm really glad to be doing it, and it's causing me to think a lot, not just about how to not take my husband for granted, but the way I treat others too.

One of the days early on in the book that really stuck out to me was the discussion of two metaphorical rooms in our heart, one is the Appreciation Room and the other is the Depreciation Room.

In the Appreciation Room the walls are covered with all the wonderful things about your spouse. All the great memories, qualities, and things you appreciate are housed here. Early on in your marriage you probably hung out in this room a lot and were adding to the walls daily.

Then, life, kids, and the realization that your spouse (and you) aren't perfect sets in.  That's where the Depreciation Room comes into play. It's walls are covered with all the annoyances, fights, anger, and letdowns of your marriage hang. If you're not careful, this room can become your new hangout and you'll eagerly wait to find fault in your spouse to add to the walls that are now packed to the gills. The appreciation room is forgotten, and this is your new home.

1 Corinthians 13:7 says "Love believes all things, hopes all things." When we get into the mindset in our marriages of focusing on all the bad, that's all we are going to see, and our tone and attitude towards our spouse is going to perpetuate the negativity.

God has put together two broken sinners in a broken, sinning world. Neither within a marriage is perfect, each has flaws, but our mindset about our partner makes all the difference. Our love for our spouse should encourage us to believe the best in them, and hope for the best in them. However, if we spend all our time in the Depreciation Room, that will never happen.

The dare for the day was to write two lists: one with the things that I appreciated about my husband and one for the things that frustrated me about him.

Here's what I found, I could think of a whole lot more positive things than I could negative. However, if my mindset is wrong, I can magnify the few things on the negative list and make them heavily outweigh any and all good. Once I realized this, it really caused me to think. I'm sure by husband could make a pretty hefty list of the things about me we wishes I did differently, but that's not what I want him to do, and I bet you don't either.

Now, no one is perfect, but I am really working to focus on the good, because there is so much, and not let the bad be my focus. I'm want to be cozy in the Appreciation Room and bar the door to the Deprecation Room, visiting there no more.

Today I want to challenge you to write your own list, if you think you're spending too much time focusing on the negative. Then, make the choice to let those things go.

I was planning to wear this outfit during the first week of school, but couldn't wait and wore it last Sunday instead. I just got this cardigan at the Loft outlet. I've needed to replace my old one for quite awhile, so I was excited to get it for less than $25. I can't find it online, but I like this one from the normal Loft. I've been wearing this top a ton and thought it would be fun with my white jeans. I really like how it came together!

Glory Over Everything: Book Review

This last December I read The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom, and it was amazing! Check out my review then go out and read The Kitchen House, ASAP. After you've done that, you're ready for it's companion, Glory Over Everything.

Glory Over Everything picks up where the The Kitchen House leaves off, but this time it's from the point of view of Belle's teenage son, Jamie, who has run off after tragedy struck on the plantation he's always called home. I don't want to give anything away from The Kitchen House, but it needs to be known that Jamie is mulatto, with his mom, Belle, being a mulatto slave, and his father being a white man. Although Jamie appears to be white as well, during those times he was considered black and was about to be sold as a slave.

Jamie escapes to the North and with the help of another slave who had escaped from a different plantation, then begins to establish himself as a white person and builds his new life.

The story goes back and forth from Jamie's life a a teenager to his life as an adult, then Jamie's past begins to haunt him. He fears that everything he's built will be taken away in the blink of an eye. We see Jamie try to fix everything, help a friend, and grow as a character.

Overall, Glory Over Everything was an amazing novel and follow up to The Kitchen House, I'd highly recommend reading them both!

Life Lately

Here's a look at life lately via pictures I've shared on Instagram!

I kind of love this picture, Grant got a bunch of mustache tattoos at the fair and we needed to give them a try. I really worked to soak up as much fun times with the kids before I headed back to school!

The Love Dare

Back when the movie, Fireproof came out, nearly eight years ago now, my small group did a study on it and the book The Love Dare, if you're not familiar with it, it is a book focused on the marriage relationship. At the time, Brian and I were still practically newly weds and pre-kids, so our marriage looked very different than it does now. I dutifully did each daily devotional and challenge, but couldn't always relate to everything the author had to say, as marriage was still so fresh. 

Now, a decade into knowing each other and two kids later, I felt like doing the Love Dare again would be good. Not because we are having problems, but because I feel like I take Brian for granted. Lately everyone has been doing the 7 day "Love Your Spouse" challenge on Facebook, then I stumbled across this blog post, which I think can give a much more realistic look at marriage, not all at the same time, but I totally relate! You should totally read it!

That being said, life has changed dramatically since Hannah's arrival, and I feel like it would be really easy to become "ships that pass in the night" and two people who fall asleep each night watching t.v., instead of really talking.

I thought I'd spend some time sharing things I'm learning over the next few weeks, and I want to encourage you to check out The Love Dare for yourself too!

One caveat I want to mention is that it can be really easy to read any of the daily devotionals in this book and think, "If my husband would only...." but that's not the purpose of this book. It's not to "fix" our husbands, it's to become better wives, and I truly believe the result will be a better husband in the end. 

The first day was focused on the verse in Ephesians 4:2 which says, "Be completely humble and gently, be patient bearing with one another in love."

The author states that Love is something we all thirst for, and that it's primarily built on patience and kindness. Love inspires you to be a better person and to respond to difficult situations with patience and kindness, not with impatience and anger. 

The statement above is one I wholeheartedly agree with, especially when I'm well rested and have had my cup of coffee, while the kids nicely play together. Can I get an Amen? It's totally different when I've been up with Hannah, Grant is driving me bananas about wanting to have yet another friend over, because playing without his friends is no fun, and Brian walks in the door ready for dinner and I'm not done making it. I definitely am not feeling particularly patient or kind at that very moment, and it's easy for me to take it out on Brian, even if he had nothing to do with any of my frustrations all day long. However, even if I am frustrated with him about something, no good will come from me being short tempered with him about it. Even though I know this is true, it can really take work. 

The author states that anger is usually caused when a strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment. Wow, that's a pretty good definition in my book. I usually have a strong desire for things to go my way, and when they don't I'm disappointed, and when left to my own devices can become angry. 

The author poses the question: "What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: 'See that no one repays another with evil or evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another?' (1 Thessalonians 5:15) Whoa. 

The dare for the day was to make sure to say nothing negative to my husband all day, and if something negative is said to me, choose to say nothing at all. On this specific day, the challenge was pretty easy, but it's something the author continues to encourage in days following. Patience has power, and our love for our families and spouses should encourage as to be patient, even when it's hard. It can change the who tone of the home. 

Tomorrow I'm going to share some more things I'm learning. What to do you think about the author's take on love?

School has officially started again, so I'm breaking out my dress clothes again, but trying to ease into it with easy outfits like this. These ankle pants are one of my favorite purchases from last spring and are sold out, but this similar pair is super cute. Although I've over wearing colored denim, I love colored pants in red and I have a similar pair in colbalt I love it.

These heels came from thredUP a year and a half ago and I'm excited to wear them again, as they didn't work with my swollen pregnant feet. They are Betsey Johnson and were a steal! I know I haven't said much about thredUP on here this summer. Everytime I've gotten credits I've used them on clothes for Hannah this fall and not for myself. It really is my favorite place to buy like-new clothes at discount prices. If you haven't tried it yet use this link for $10 off your first purchase!

The Belong Tour

Recently I was contacted about The Belong Tour, a twelve city event brought to you by the creators of Women of Faith. I'm not going to lie, I'm really excited about this! Here's a little video clip sharing what the tour is all about:

  

This tour is bringing together amazing writers, musicians, poets, and friends who aren't afraid to get real and share stories from their own lives, as well as wisdom to teach us how to navigate through our own lives.

I've shared this with you all before, but life can get hectic and challenging. During this last year adding Hannah to our lives has been the best thing, but it's been creating a new normal. There were times when I missed my friends, felt alone, and totally felt at a loss as to how to be the best mom and wife in the midst of everything. Not only that, I had to go back to work and manage that on top of trying to tackle the to-do lists that are ever present. There were many times when I felt like I was running on fumes, and I bet many of you can relate.

That is why I am so excited about The Belong Tour! It's a place that is bringing together women so we can embrace our stories with courage and honor. It's a wide open space where women can share, heal, connect, learn, laugh. It's an opportunity for us to to dive into who we really are at our core, and how we can best become who we were created to be.

A Thousand Splendid Suns- Book Review

Everyone in awhile I read a book that is important, A Thousand Splendid Suns is one of them.  Although fiction, it's depictions of life in Afghanistan during the last sixty years or so historically accurate. 

We follow the lives of two women, Mariam and Laila who are brought together by tragic circumstances and once they meet their lives will never be the same.

This story is both tragic and beautiful. It makes me appreciate the life and freedom I have here in the U.S., as well as helps me understand what happens when greed and power meet and the collateral damage that follows.

If you read only one more book this year, this should be the book.