Grateful

Hannah got her tubes on Tuesday and has been the happiest girl in the world ever since. I am so grateful to her doctor and all the nurses and thankful that we could move the surgery up a week. Once the surgery was done the doctor said the fluid in her ears was super mucasy and it was probably like she'd been walking around with ear plugs in for months. This was the worst realization. Luckily she hasn't been surprised by loud noises like he said she could be, but I can tell a diffenence for sure. On Tuesday I was giving her a bottle after nap and she heard one light jingle from Grace's collar in the living room and stopped eating to say "dog!" She has also been walking pretty much everywhere and giggling like it's her job. So fun!

Back to the hospital, though. There were kids everywhere and I made the assumption that most were there for tubes like Hannah, and one of the nurses informed me that was not the case. In reality, Hannah's ear issues were a real problem, but it could have been a lot worse. I think sometimes we can   make our problems seem like they are the biggest or most important and forget there are others who have it much worse. Perspective is everything.

I am so looking forward to enjoying the rest of the days I have at home with the kids and am praising God for their health!

Introvert

A weird thing happened during this last year, I somehow morphed into an introvert. It's pretty weird actually. I used to thrive in groups, at parties, and by being with people. Now, it's exhausting.

If I'm being honest, I maybe have been an introvert for awhile, I just didn't realize it.  I like people, don't get me wrong, but I'm finding that I will totally want to lose it if I don't have a minute to myself during the day.

During my plan I sometimes lock my door and turn off the lights, simply so I won't be bothered. The light from the windows is enough for me to see and get things done, but sometimes people are just too much for me.

I also really enjoy the time to myself doing devotions in the morning and cringe when it is interrupted by the kids, my husband, or the dog.

Same thing goes with nap time/rest time. I need to go to a space to be alone. It's during these times I find myself recharging through reading or watching a show.

For a long time I've felt like I need to be "a hero." Put my own needs on the back burner for the good of everyone else, but it turns out I'm not my best self when I'm not taking care of myself. So, when I find myself about ready to lose it, I've been trying to take a step back, and it its miraculous what a trip to Target for toothpaste a Starbucks can do for my soul. ; )

I want to be a good friend, wife and mother and sometimes that means I need to think about me, and that's ok. After this brief time away I can come back recharged and ready to take on anything.

Christmas

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with your families! We did. It was busy as can be, but I love seeing everyone and the joy both Hannah and Grant have during this time too.

On Christmas Eve we went to my parents' house, which is our usual tradition. I think my mom felt like we were packed in like sardines, but other than my mom brain trying to keep track of two kids, I had a great time. My husband was there, but not feeling great, so the kid to parent ratio was not in my favor ; )

The Hardest Part

Being a mom is hard. It's not the cleaning, laundry, or always being needed. That part is exhausting at times, trust me. The hardest part is having a sick baby and not being able to do anything about it. Hannah has had more ear infections than you can shake a stick at, and after the last one we scheduled an appointment to get tubes, crossing our fingers that she'd make it until then. Well, she didn't. She got another ear infection, went on meds, a few days passed and no impromevent. She had to get the rocephin shots again, and it tore her little stocmach up, so puking started. It has seriously been an awful few weeks. She's generally in pretty good spirits, but when she's in pain it just kills me to not be able to take the pain away. Luckily, we are able to move her appointment up to next Tuesday and have directions to give her ibuprofen and Benadryl to get her though.

It's in these moments I find myself relying on God the most. I know he can take care of this and I'm thankful a spot for early surgery was available. No matter what we're going through, he is there with us! For now, I'm struggling my girl,  courting down the days until Tuesday, and trusting in God.

Whatever you do for the least of these...

Recently I went through the drive through after work to buy an overpriced coffee. This is something I don't do everyday, but probably once a week or so. It's actually kind of ridiculous how much this cup of coffee can impact my mood for the better. But on this day as I paid I was overcome. 

Hannah's Birthday

Today Hannah is one year old! We celebrated her birthday over the weekend, so I thought I'd share on here today.

First, I will admit that I had some serious mom guilt about not having a huge party for her. We ended up having a nice time though and we enjoyed the time with family. 

I thought Hannah would be crazy about the cake, and she totally wasn't. This face says it all...

Tree-lined Lane

Over Thanksgiving we took pictures as a whole family-something that hasn't happened since my sister and I got married nearly a decade ago. One of the place we stood was on the driveway leading up to my parents' house. It's a pretty long tree-lined lane and really picturesque. After we got the pictures back I could help but think about this lane.

We moved to the acreage before my fifth grade year, previously living in town. It was a big adjustment, to say the least. I was used to living in a neighborhood and having friends I could easily play with at any given time. Now, plans had to be made, a car ride was involved, and it was more isolated.

I remember years of weekends being spent hauling sticks, if you've never lived in a wooded area, you probably can't relate, but this job was never-ending. With multiple acres pretty heavily wooded and past owners who didn't maintain the fallen limbs we hauled limb after limb to the burn pile for years. Literally years.

I spent most of my high school career picturing myself driving down the driveway to bigger and better things, never looking back, and I gave my mom the hardest time.

The funny thing is though, that while I was there I didn't really appreciate all this acreage and my family had provided me.

The years together, without the constant interactions with friends helped me to appreciate spending time as a family-something that is still true today.

All of the hauling of limbs helped me to understand that being a part of a family means pulling your own weight and contributing....even if you don't want to. It helped me realize what "real work" is like too.

I also learned what unconditional love feels like. My mom loved me when I truly didn't deserve it and was there for me no matter what.

Now, I don't live on an acreage or have a tree-lined lane, but I realize one day Grant and Hannah will probably feel the same way I did, and I hope Brian and I will have taught them the same lessons along the way that I was taught: to work hard, appreciate each other, and to love each other, not matter what.