At Least I Have My Kids

Let me begin by saying, I have my share of days as a mother that are less than stellar. I lose my cool, the kids are whining or fighting, and I have a million things to get done. These are the days I take my life for granted. When you're biggest desire is to simply be able to pee alone you know you're at a new low. 

Then, there are other days that are great, the kids are getting along, everyone gets to sleep until 7:00 and I get to snap fun pictures like the one above to remind me of how good I have it. 

On Monday we went to breakfast as a family, things were going well. We dropped Brian at home, then ran to Target and decided to stop by the park-nearly a daily occurrence for us. There was only one other boy and his mom there. The boy, Cameron, was about Grant's age and per usual, Grant and the little boy started playing together and talking. I was pushing Hannah on the swing and the mom was sitting on the bench. It was then that I overheard Cameron say, "I was taking karate until my sister died." 

Wait. What? 

Grant started to ask questions, which I understand, I tried to ask Grant to not ask too many, as I bet it's really hard to talk about. Cameron said his sister, Kimberly, who was two died in her sleep and no one knows why. Also, it just happened two weeks ago.

The mom close by began to cry. I was at a loss. I told her I was sorry and honestly had no idea what to say or do after that.

Hannah, who was obviously unaware of what was going on toddled towards the swings and I followed her. All I could think about was that I had no idea what "bad" was really like. I still have my kids. It feels so ridiculous and foolish to ever whine, complain, or lose it over how much they need me all the time or how I have very little time to myself. I never want to take how good I have it for granted ever again. 

Grant and Cameron continued to play and Cameron mentioned Okaboji, a lake a few hours away. I thought that would be a good conversation starter, as I asked the mom about it, as we are going there in a few weeks. We talked for a while and found out were are both English teachers in nearby districts.

As we were getting ready to go, I asked her if I could pray for her. She said yes and showed me a picture of sweet Kimberly. We prayed and cried and then parted ways. I'm kicking myself for not getting her contact info, but I'm going to continue to pray for she and her family and work to not let the hectic days of motherhood get the best of me. Even on the worst days, I still have my kids.