I constantly feel pressure to be super mom and I worry when Grant isn't the "perfect" child, which is so silly.....no one is perfect. However, I still feel the pressure. My son is four and a half and still learning what it means to be a person. He's kind, loving, and his preschool teachers have commented multiple times on his love of learning. These are all such great things!
But. Then there's the things we have to work on. Grant will go in and out of phases where he will say words like "toot" and "butt," often together. He's only gotten in trouble once for using it at school, but it seems to come into conversation quite often at home. I know he's a boy and to boys this is hilarious, I just don't want him to get in trouble.
Grant has had a few times recently when he's gotten in trouble at nap time at school. It's two and a half hours long and he isn't always tired. At home I'm ok with him playing in his room for a bit until he falls asleep; this obviously isn't a choice when there are 20 other children around you. He knows he needs to lay down and be quiet, but that's a long time if you're not tired. I'm worried it causes problems for the teachers and that they won't like him.
Grant now sits in church with us. Up until he was four he could stay in Sunday school for two hours while we went to small group and church, but once they are four they are expected to sit in church. I come with my busy bag and a snack he can't eat until after the music is done. Some weeks he's great and other weeks I feel like he's forgotten what a whisper sounds like. I don't want to be that mom that hands him an iphone to keep him busy, I want him to listen, but some weeks are definitely better than others.
In the midst of all of this I feel like a failure. I let the things he's working on get to me. I'm then reminded of this verse in Psalms 22:6 "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
I know Brian and I are teaching Grant about "time and place," and after a while he'll know when it's acceptable to say "toot," and when it's not.
I know Brian and I are teaching Grant to be a good listener....and practicing being good listeners with with each other too. I know Grant does a good job of listening at preschool and in general and daycare. The struggle of listening at nap time will pass.
I know it's important for Grant to sit in church with us and even when he's coloring or putting together a lego guy he hears the words the pastor is saying and asks questions. He'll get better at being quiet with practice.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in things our kids are struggling with and to forget the things they do well and our intentions too. Brian and I are doing our best to train Grant into a life of kindness and a love for God and others, and although no day is perfect, I know we're doing our best with Grant.
I know I'm not alone in this pressure. I believe God just wants us to take a deep breath. He gave us our children and trusts that we're doing what's best. He will also guide us along the way, so our job is to stay in tune with God's word, listen for his voice, get into the word each day, (I recommend She Reads Truth as devotional to get you going) and take care of ourselves. If we take time to fuel up each day with God's word, our tanks won't feel so empty.
Today's outfit has to be one of my favorites. I absolutely adore this vest from Target. I can't stop wearing it, and today I decided to pair it with my Ann Taylor sweater from thredUP (get $10 off your first order here) and my favorite necklace from chloe + isabel.
Vest: Target same
Sweater: Ann Taylor similar
Necklace: chloe + isabel same
Pants: Target same
Boots: Born similar
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