Clothed with Grace: Forgive as You Have Been Forgiven

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Forgive as You Have Been Forgiven

This past week I was on the receiving end of an apology and I couldn't have been more surprised.  Here's a bit of background for you all: A few years ago my husband and I left a community group we'd been a part of for nearly seven years to join a different group at church.  We'd been upset about some things that were going on, and decided it was time to step away.

In hindsight, it was pretty foolish of me to think that our friendships would remain the same, but I was saddened to be suddenly left out of events I'd been previously a part of after we left the group. I spoke with a number of the girls about why we left, my concerns, and how I still cared about them, but the friendships just slipped away. Time passed, we made new wonderful friends, and as a final way of healing I "unfriended" a girl in my old group of friends on Facebook.  She constantly posted pictures of herself and my old friends doing fun things together. It made me sad to see it, but at the same time I was ready to move on.

Ephasions 4:32 say "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." I was at peace with the past staying there, and I felt like I needed to forgive past hurts without any acknowledgment on their end. Sometimes, that's just the best way to heal.

Fast forward to four or so months later. I got a message on Facebook from the girl I'd unfriended four months before.  She'd realized what I'd done and wanted to know why I'd done it. Yes, she did. She assumed I was jealous of her life, etc. It was pretty ugly. I told her I wished her the best in life, and left it at that.

Then about a week ago I ran into her in church and smiled, then continued with my conversation.  Shortly afterward I got a text from her apologizing. I was floored. Of course I forgave her and we shared a few friendly texts back and forth. For her to apologize was huge and I really respect her for that. I don't expect we'll be friends again, and that's ok, but the last thing God wants is for his children to be fighting and holding onto past hurts. We fail him each day and He is always quick to forgive. How much more then should we forgive?  

I share this today because maybe you are or were like me, holding onto past hurt, or maybe you're the one who needs to do the apologizing. Both sides of the coin cause so much pain, but asking for forgiveness and choosing to forgive are so freeing. They allow us to grow, and to move on.

Confession, I bought this dress on a whim. I saw it on Ashley of Twenties Girls Style on Instagram. I "liked" the picture, then got got "Like it to Know it" email with the link to the dress. I thought for sure it was really expensive, only to find it was out it was $23 with free shipping. Sold.  I hadn't ordered from Oasap before, but have heard you should size up. I seriously adore it, my one complaint is that one of the seams on the side doesn't match up the print exactly...which is kind annoying, but you know me, I always layer, so it will remain hidden. Of all the necklaces I own, this one is continually my go to. I love it with this dress here today too.

Jacket:  Gap similar via thredUP (use this thredUP link to get $10 off your first order)
Dress: Oasap same
Necklace: Mariposa Medley c/o same
Watch: Wristology same c/o Get 25% off
Shoes: Aerosoles similar

Linking up with:


  1. your dress is very nice..i like its print

  2. To be able to forgive someone is such a healing process. I bet you felt so much better about the situation afterwards. I get a sense of peace when I forgive. I love that dress on you! The print and colors look great!

  3. Before I get to the outfit, I love the title and lesson of this post. Your new floral dress is stunning - I want it. My favorite denim jacket and dress combo is either with a white dress or a floral one.

  4. wow, this is very profound as I work through letting go of a friendship that is decades old and has been my ONLY support system for a very long time. Our lives have just grown in different directions and recently, she's SAID something very hurtful and DID something very hurtful and I've been trying to gracefully let go without throwing a huge temper tantrum as I am sure that I've also SAID and DONE hurtful things too. A balance I guess, in all things, is really important and being able to move forward without ruining what we DID share through the years.

    LOVE the dress too! And I'm jealous of your bare's still SUPER cold here.

  5. I have been in the same situation as you....letting go of friendships that bring you down more than they lift you up. It was a hard and sad process at first, but I am so much happier and less exhausted. I am happy that she apologized to you and that you have forgiven her...that is something I REALLY need to work on. In happier news, I love this dress...super fun print...even if you said the seams don't line up! Ha!

  6. Sometimes it's just better to let go of friendships that are not positive or causing tension and it's definitely not easy. Glad that you were able to move forward in a positive way with her & that she apologized!
    Now this dress is just darling, love the colours and the pattern!

  7. This outfit is beautiful! I love the print on the dress, and the jean jacket is too cute with it. I love that necklace too!

    I think it's so important to have friends who really lift you up. I'm glad she apologized, and it seems like you handled the whole thing really, really well.

  8. This dress is pretty on you - I love the print and color of it.


    Hope to see you Thursday for TBT Fashion link up.

  9. Love a classic denim jacket! Found your blog through The Pleated Poppy. I host a weekly link up every Wednesday (still live now!), so stop by of you get a chance.