Best You

Like I told you all earlier this week, I had a great time at The Belong Tour. My head has been spinning with a few of the things the different speakers shared, so today I thought I'd share what I've been thinking about. Shauna Niequest spent a lot of time focusing her talk on her journey to get back her "best self," the self that God had created her to be. I thought this was really interesting. She asked us to all think back to when we think we were our all around best, and use that as inspiration. 

I'm sure different thoughts went through everyone's head. Some probably thought about when their body was the best and most healthy- for me it was probably my senior year of college. However, just because my body was best, I definitely was not my best self. Plus, that self was single, selfish and self-centered.

Some people probably thought about when they were at their best with their walk with God. For me I was having the most impactful quiet time for about the two years leading up to getting pregnant with Hannah, so I don't want to be there, because that means no Hannah. 

Some people might think about when their relationship was the "loviest." For me, that was probably when Brian and I were doe-eyed newly weds, totally unaware that marriage takes work, and that there will be challenges we will have to face, coming out better on the other side. 

Then I decided, this is exactly where I want to be. Now. Even though my body isn't at it's best, I can struggle to get in quality quiet time with God, and I realize marriage takes work. God can use me each day right here- in the messy house, the noisy kids, the and the often less than perfectness of everyday life. He can use you too.

It's though each stage of my life, I've learned so much. I know I am a much more patient person now than I ever was. I have also learned that it is not about me the majority of the time, and that others can teach me just as much, if not more, than I teach them.

This also makes me think about what Patsy Clairmont said, "If you know something to be true, make adjustments and stop whining about it." If I know this is where I want to me and am listening to God and allowing him to use me right here, I need to stop whining about the messy, the crazy, and the fact that it is not about me most of the time. I really am happy in in "the now," so why whine? 

I do want to continue to be better each day, but I think "best self" is a work in progress, not a destination.

What do you all think about the concept of finding your best self? Are you where I am, or do you have a different take entirely?

Absolutely nothing I am wearing is new, but I am excited to pull this dress out again! I got it from thredUP (use this link for $10 off your first purchase), for less than $20, and I hadn't worn it since I was pregnant, for obvious reasons, but now that I'm back to school and nursing during the day isn't an issue, I've been really enjoying wearing dresses again.  Although this dress is old (ish) JCrew has a really fun option this year, and it's on sale!

Life Lately

Today I thought I'd share a recap of life Lately via Instagram.

Recently I got another pair of Nickel & Suede earrings in the mail! Love those things! I also lucked out and found "Where'd You Go, Bernadette" at our neighborhood Little Free Library. I'm still working on another book, but I can't wait to read this one!

The Belong Tour Recap

This last weekend I had the opportunity to go to the Belong Tour in Lincoln, Nebraska with one of the great friends. It was so much fun and today I thought I'd share my experience with you!

The Belong Tour's purpose is to create a space that will bring together women, so we all can embrace our stories with courage and honor. It's a wide open space where women can share, heal, connect, learn, laugh. It's an opportunity for us to to dive into who we really are at our core, and how we can best become who we were created to be.

I will add, this is NOT "Women of Faith 2.0." Each of the women's stories are filled with ways in which God's presence in their lives has helped them become the best version of themselves. Books of the Bible are mentioned, as well as verses, but the actual verse is not cited. This really seemed to bother some people on the Facebook group specific to the Lincoln event, so I want to share that now, so there is no confusion. It didn't bother me, as it didn't change the truth of God's word for me. Plus, if you're considering coming and the idea of Bible verses seems overwhelming to you, the way stories were shared was very understandable without being overwhelming.

What I really liked the was "realness" of each speaker, so whether the concept of God is something that is ambiguous to you, or you consider yourself a Christian walking in faith daily, this tour is for you. 

Time

I recently had an IG buddy wonder how I had time to be a mom, wife, read, work, blog and keep my house clean (ha!). She joked I must have found some kind of time space continuum (I wish!) But, in all honestly, I could really use a bit more time in each day. Couldn't we all?

School is keeping me extra busy with huge curriculum changes, and I've been carrying a book around for the last week and haven't had time to crack it once.  I had a moment last night (right before I wrote this) where I was like, "Oh yeah, I need to get a post ready for tomorrow..." I hadn't written it over the weekend, because I had nothing interesting to say, and I still don't. Whoops! I also have nothing planned for next week either, and honestly, I'm ok with that. 

I have the Belong Tour this weekend, which I'm really excited about, but that means no time to take pictures, which is fine by me. I'm hoping to share a recap of the event next week with you all, we'll see what else I have time to share. So, moral of the story, I'm not aware of any time space continuum, and now I'm going to finish up this post and go read my book while sitting next to my husband....that's quality time right? ; )

I just got this top and love it! It's so fun and different and it's less than $20! I wore this outfit last weekend. It was pretty cool, so it was nice to get out my flares again!

I also just got these Nickel & Suede earrings on sale.  I'm pretty sure I want to add every color to my collection at this point....

Food for Thought

Last week I saw this video on my Facebook feed. It's all about how we as adults talk to kids and it specifically was talking about the school setting. You should seriously take two minutes to watch it! It really made me think. As teachers and adults in general, we make such an impression on the children we teach, as well as our own children (obviously).

We can easily get annoyed at our students and our children, but how we respond has such power over how they feel about themselves. I notice that it's usually pretty easy to keep my cool with my students, but I can easily lose it with Grant at home. I want Grant to know he is loved, so my words and actions should be showing that. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because he first loved us." God has always loved me, even though I don't deserve it, so I'm really out of excuses when it comes to showing love to others.

My current goal is to make my interactions with my students, as well as at home show love, even when I don't feel like it. No excuses.

I've been wearing this top like crazy. I wore this to church recently and ended up adding a white cardigan, since it was a cool morning. These red pants are also one of my favorite purchases this summer, I've been wearing them nearly each week, and hope to carry them into the fall too.

8 Months Old

Hannah is officially 8 months old! It seems like a lot has happened since I did her 7 month update. This month has been crazy with back to school and girlfriend had a cold that just wouldn't quit. It was her first, and I know I should be grateful that she went 7 months without getting sick, I still hate it.

Getting Hannah to sit still for a picture this month was pretty much impossible, I gave up after a few minutes, because it's so true to who she is right now. She wanted, me, the camera, and to crawl, she did not want to pose for a picture. ; ) She wants to crawl so badly and keeps getting on all fours...than going backwards. Whomp, whomp.

Hannah is generally a pretty great eater when it comes to cereal and baby food, while she'd gotten a bit finicky when it came to bottle and nursing. She was getting so distracted, so anytime she nursed I had to go to her room. Then she was sick and suddenly she was all about the nursing and literally turning her nose up to baby food. Luckily, she's eating baby food pretty well again, but she was totally stressing me out! There's nothing worse than a sick baby who can't tell you what' bothering them!

Hannah also got her first tooth! Finally! I'm assuming number two isn't that far behind, but she HATES when I try to check out her mouth for more teeth.

She's also starting to cruise a bit, but I wish she knew she needed to learn to crawl first. ; )

Hannah has started babbling and say consonants on repeat, which is super fun. She also thinks it's super hilarious when I say them back to her. I see "mama" and "dada" in her near future.

She has also started to get super excited when I pick her up to daycare. She's reaching for us at home and thinking about waving too.

I know I've said this a million times, but we are so blessed to have this little girl in our lives! I'm excited to see what this next month has in store!

In the Groove

Ok, I'm going to say it, I feel like we're getting into a predictable routine around with the house. Brian and I are getting into a flow of getting everyone out of the house by about 7:15. My days at school fly by, then I'm able to get the kids around 4:00, come home, play with the kids, then get dinner ready while Hannah takes a nap.  I'd really hoped she'd be down to two naps by now, but her naps at daycare are not great, whomp whomp, so girlfriend is tired come 5:00.Then, it's time for me to cook dinner and clean up the kitchen. Then, we eat as a family once Brian is home. Hannah is up at 6:00, and it's dinner for her, baths for the kids, then some playing before bedtime. That leaves about two hours for Brian and I before it's time for us to go to bed.

If you'd asked me last spring is I felt like I was in a groove, the answer would be a resounding no. I was stressed about getting dinner cooked and totally exhausted from being up at night with Hannah. Now that she (pretty much) is sleeping through the night I feel like a new person! There is light at the end of the sleep deprived tunnel! I feel like we are finally getting this "family of four" thing figured about and I know I'm doing a much better job of "letting" Brian help, and he's doing a much better job of taking on tasks with the kiddos too.

There are plenty of times when #momminainteasy , but man, we need to celebrate when times are good, then remember them once they get tough again too.



A little note, I tried to take pictures Saturday and it was windy and gross. The picture above was a one take shot by Grant Sunday morning, and it was way better than any picture I tried on Saturday. The two below are from Saturday. I switched up the jewelry above and and didn't pull my hair back. Real life, people. :)

I just got this dress in the mail and love it! The style is fun and flattering, and the quality is great too. For reference, I got a medium.  Also, let's talk about these shoes for a minute, they are the best! I had a 30% off coupon for our local department store, so that helped with the price, but I think they will be worth every penny. I'm not sure if it's getting older, or what, but heels and I just aren't getting along like we used to. I'm pretty sure these will be on constant rotation!

Love Makes Good Impressions

As I've shared, I'm going through The Love Dare book as my devotional. It's really been helping me to be more purposeful with the little amount of time Brian and I have together each day.

One of the days I read about recently was focused on how to greet your spouse. It talked about how we great out friends, new people when we're introduced, and even strangers. Then, it asked us to consider how we greet our spouse. After all, greetings show your care for others, your joy for seeing them, and it should make them feel good.

I have to be honest, I haven't been doing a great job of this. I could blame it on the hustle in the morning, when we say a quick "Bye" as we each leave with one kid, headed to daycare or school. I could blame it on the hustle in the kitchen of me finishing up dinner when Brian arrives home from work, but that's pretty much a cop out. I got lazy and I don't think my greetings had showed my love for Brian.

Our task for the day was to think of a purposeful way to greet our spouse, letting them know how important they are to us. Since then, I make sure to give Brian a kiss goodbye and tell him I love him. When he's gets home, I make sure to stop what I'm doing to say hello and ask about his day. 

Greetings show that we find value in someone else, that they matter, that we "see" them. We do this with even strangers, shouldn't we do it even more with our spouse? Maybe you're really great at this, maybe not. Regardless, I think it's an easy way to show our spouses we care. 

It's been nice to wear my work clothes again. I've had this jacket for Loft for a few years now, but this jacket is super similar and on sale. I got this dress last spring in a few colors when it went on super sale, but Target has fit and flare dresses again this fall and in some great colors too! I would say the hardest part of going back to school, clothing wise, is trading my sandals for heels. It just seems so much more painful...literally this year. Wearing shoes that are leather, does help, but I miss my sandals!

The Appreciation Room

I shared with you all that I had decided to do The Love Dare book again as my devotional. I'm really glad to be doing it, and it's causing me to think a lot, not just about how to not take my husband for granted, but the way I treat others too.

One of the days early on in the book that really stuck out to me was the discussion of two metaphorical rooms in our heart, one is the Appreciation Room and the other is the Depreciation Room.

In the Appreciation Room the walls are covered with all the wonderful things about your spouse. All the great memories, qualities, and things you appreciate are housed here. Early on in your marriage you probably hung out in this room a lot and were adding to the walls daily.

Then, life, kids, and the realization that your spouse (and you) aren't perfect sets in.  That's where the Depreciation Room comes into play. It's walls are covered with all the annoyances, fights, anger, and letdowns of your marriage hang. If you're not careful, this room can become your new hangout and you'll eagerly wait to find fault in your spouse to add to the walls that are now packed to the gills. The appreciation room is forgotten, and this is your new home.

1 Corinthians 13:7 says "Love believes all things, hopes all things." When we get into the mindset in our marriages of focusing on all the bad, that's all we are going to see, and our tone and attitude towards our spouse is going to perpetuate the negativity.

God has put together two broken sinners in a broken, sinning world. Neither within a marriage is perfect, each has flaws, but our mindset about our partner makes all the difference. Our love for our spouse should encourage us to believe the best in them, and hope for the best in them. However, if we spend all our time in the Depreciation Room, that will never happen.

The dare for the day was to write two lists: one with the things that I appreciated about my husband and one for the things that frustrated me about him.

Here's what I found, I could think of a whole lot more positive things than I could negative. However, if my mindset is wrong, I can magnify the few things on the negative list and make them heavily outweigh any and all good. Once I realized this, it really caused me to think. I'm sure by husband could make a pretty hefty list of the things about me we wishes I did differently, but that's not what I want him to do, and I bet you don't either.

Now, no one is perfect, but I am really working to focus on the good, because there is so much, and not let the bad be my focus. I'm want to be cozy in the Appreciation Room and bar the door to the Deprecation Room, visiting there no more.

Today I want to challenge you to write your own list, if you think you're spending too much time focusing on the negative. Then, make the choice to let those things go.

I was planning to wear this outfit during the first week of school, but couldn't wait and wore it last Sunday instead. I just got this cardigan at the Loft outlet. I've needed to replace my old one for quite awhile, so I was excited to get it for less than $25. I can't find it online, but I like this one from the normal Loft. I've been wearing this top a ton and thought it would be fun with my white jeans. I really like how it came together!

Glory Over Everything: Book Review

This last December I read The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom, and it was amazing! Check out my review then go out and read The Kitchen House, ASAP. After you've done that, you're ready for it's companion, Glory Over Everything.

Glory Over Everything picks up where the The Kitchen House leaves off, but this time it's from the point of view of Belle's teenage son, Jamie, who has run off after tragedy struck on the plantation he's always called home. I don't want to give anything away from The Kitchen House, but it needs to be known that Jamie is mulatto, with his mom, Belle, being a mulatto slave, and his father being a white man. Although Jamie appears to be white as well, during those times he was considered black and was about to be sold as a slave.

Jamie escapes to the North and with the help of another slave who had escaped from a different plantation, then begins to establish himself as a white person and builds his new life.

The story goes back and forth from Jamie's life a a teenager to his life as an adult, then Jamie's past begins to haunt him. He fears that everything he's built will be taken away in the blink of an eye. We see Jamie try to fix everything, help a friend, and grow as a character.

Overall, Glory Over Everything was an amazing novel and follow up to The Kitchen House, I'd highly recommend reading them both!

Life Lately

Here's a look at life lately via pictures I've shared on Instagram!

I kind of love this picture, Grant got a bunch of mustache tattoos at the fair and we needed to give them a try. I really worked to soak up as much fun times with the kids before I headed back to school!

The Love Dare

Back when the movie, Fireproof came out, nearly eight years ago now, my small group did a study on it and the book The Love Dare, if you're not familiar with it, it is a book focused on the marriage relationship. At the time, Brian and I were still practically newly weds and pre-kids, so our marriage looked very different than it does now. I dutifully did each daily devotional and challenge, but couldn't always relate to everything the author had to say, as marriage was still so fresh. 

Now, a decade into knowing each other and two kids later, I felt like doing the Love Dare again would be good. Not because we are having problems, but because I feel like I take Brian for granted. Lately everyone has been doing the 7 day "Love Your Spouse" challenge on Facebook, then I stumbled across this blog post, which I think can give a much more realistic look at marriage, not all at the same time, but I totally relate! You should totally read it!

That being said, life has changed dramatically since Hannah's arrival, and I feel like it would be really easy to become "ships that pass in the night" and two people who fall asleep each night watching t.v., instead of really talking.

I thought I'd spend some time sharing things I'm learning over the next few weeks, and I want to encourage you to check out The Love Dare for yourself too!

One caveat I want to mention is that it can be really easy to read any of the daily devotionals in this book and think, "If my husband would only...." but that's not the purpose of this book. It's not to "fix" our husbands, it's to become better wives, and I truly believe the result will be a better husband in the end. 

The first day was focused on the verse in Ephesians 4:2 which says, "Be completely humble and gently, be patient bearing with one another in love."

The author states that Love is something we all thirst for, and that it's primarily built on patience and kindness. Love inspires you to be a better person and to respond to difficult situations with patience and kindness, not with impatience and anger. 

The statement above is one I wholeheartedly agree with, especially when I'm well rested and have had my cup of coffee, while the kids nicely play together. Can I get an Amen? It's totally different when I've been up with Hannah, Grant is driving me bananas about wanting to have yet another friend over, because playing without his friends is no fun, and Brian walks in the door ready for dinner and I'm not done making it. I definitely am not feeling particularly patient or kind at that very moment, and it's easy for me to take it out on Brian, even if he had nothing to do with any of my frustrations all day long. However, even if I am frustrated with him about something, no good will come from me being short tempered with him about it. Even though I know this is true, it can really take work. 

The author states that anger is usually caused when a strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment. Wow, that's a pretty good definition in my book. I usually have a strong desire for things to go my way, and when they don't I'm disappointed, and when left to my own devices can become angry. 

The author poses the question: "What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: 'See that no one repays another with evil or evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another?' (1 Thessalonians 5:15) Whoa. 

The dare for the day was to make sure to say nothing negative to my husband all day, and if something negative is said to me, choose to say nothing at all. On this specific day, the challenge was pretty easy, but it's something the author continues to encourage in days following. Patience has power, and our love for our families and spouses should encourage as to be patient, even when it's hard. It can change the who tone of the home. 

Tomorrow I'm going to share some more things I'm learning. What to do you think about the author's take on love?

School has officially started again, so I'm breaking out my dress clothes again, but trying to ease into it with easy outfits like this. These ankle pants are one of my favorite purchases from last spring and are sold out, but this similar pair is super cute. Although I've over wearing colored denim, I love colored pants in red and I have a similar pair in colbalt I love it.

These heels came from thredUP a year and a half ago and I'm excited to wear them again, as they didn't work with my swollen pregnant feet. They are Betsey Johnson and were a steal! I know I haven't said much about thredUP on here this summer. Everytime I've gotten credits I've used them on clothes for Hannah this fall and not for myself. It really is my favorite place to buy like-new clothes at discount prices. If you haven't tried it yet use this link for $10 off your first purchase!

The Belong Tour

Recently I was contacted about The Belong Tour, a twelve city event brought to you by the creators of Women of Faith. I'm not going to lie, I'm really excited about this! Here's a little video clip sharing what the tour is all about:

  

This tour is bringing together amazing writers, musicians, poets, and friends who aren't afraid to get real and share stories from their own lives, as well as wisdom to teach us how to navigate through our own lives.

I've shared this with you all before, but life can get hectic and challenging. During this last year adding Hannah to our lives has been the best thing, but it's been creating a new normal. There were times when I missed my friends, felt alone, and totally felt at a loss as to how to be the best mom and wife in the midst of everything. Not only that, I had to go back to work and manage that on top of trying to tackle the to-do lists that are ever present. There were many times when I felt like I was running on fumes, and I bet many of you can relate.

That is why I am so excited about The Belong Tour! It's a place that is bringing together women so we can embrace our stories with courage and honor. It's a wide open space where women can share, heal, connect, learn, laugh. It's an opportunity for us to to dive into who we really are at our core, and how we can best become who we were created to be.

A Thousand Splendid Suns- Book Review

Everyone in awhile I read a book that is important, A Thousand Splendid Suns is one of them.  Although fiction, it's depictions of life in Afghanistan during the last sixty years or so historically accurate. 

We follow the lives of two women, Mariam and Laila who are brought together by tragic circumstances and once they meet their lives will never be the same.

This story is both tragic and beautiful. It makes me appreciate the life and freedom I have here in the U.S., as well as helps me understand what happens when greed and power meet and the collateral damage that follows.

If you read only one more book this year, this should be the book. 

Five Minute Scrapbooking Pages

Today I thought I'd share some more of my five minute scrapbook pages. I love scrapbooking and plan to spend a few hours each month staying caught up, but that means my pages need to be done pretty quickly! Here are some current(ish) ones I thought I'd share. Maybe they'll give you some inspiration too!

Pick a picture to focus on- This is one of my favorite pictures! Keeping the rest of the page pretty simple helps keep the focus on the image you love.

Use Me

A few years back I was very inspired by a boy's devotion to God as a teenage. He even preached at a local church with the cry of his heart saying, "Here I am Lord, Use Me." This really stuck with me and inspired me. I worked to make this the cry of my heart too.

Then, I got busy with life. Taking care of the kids, keeping the house clean, spending time with my husband, teaching my students, and trying to fit in my devotional time each day....along with about fifty other things. I forgot my heart's cry. Then just this last week I got an email from a lady who told me I had written exactly what she needed to hear. She wasn't even sure how she'd come across the blog post, but it was like it was written to her. I was so humbled.  I had forgotten that God could use me right where I was, and in the busyness of life, just like he can use you too!

I believe God purposely brings people in and out of our lives for a reason, sometimes we are the teachers and sometime we are the ones who are being taught. Maybe it's our kids, our co-workers, that lady behind us in line at Target, or someone reading something we've written on social media, whoever it is, interactions aren't accidental.

God has given me this platform for a reason, and I shouldn't take it lightly, just as He is giving you opportunities each day to impact the people around you too.  It can be easy to second guess our value, but if no one else, we are who God is using to speak to our kids. I was recently having a conversations with Grant about the verse, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." I told him that before we talk we should think about if what we say will make us feel good, the other person feel good, and God feel good, if not, we shouldn't say it. That right there was God using me, not only to teach my son, but also to remind myself, because I know I need to think about that just as much as Grant does. ; )

I am grateful for that lady's email and for each of you and I want to encourage you today that God can use you right where you are as well.

I picked up this top at Old Navy on clearance lately, it's out of stock but this is Gap's verison and it is super cute too. The Clare cardigan from J.Crew factory remains my favorite, admittedly, it didn't stay on long, as I got to warm, but I wear these like crazy during the school year and have a half-dozen colors. My wedges are also sold out, but I love these on super sale and totally would have bought them if I didn't get these ones first!

Oh, and my necklace is a teething necklace, I got it on Jane.com and Hannah is a fan. We have the drool and the chewing down, but no teeth yet!

Time Flies

This summer Grant learned to ride his bike without training wheels. He was playing with the neighbors across the street and came home wide eyed to share the big news. After that I had him practice quite a bit, which is easier said than done in a neighborhood full of hills. Then just a few days ago Grant wanted to go the "long way" around our neighborhood on his bike, while I pushed Hannah in the stroller. And he did great! All I could think was how proud I was of him. When he got his bike a few years back he could hardly go the "short way," which was basically around the block with his training wheels. He was scared to death of hills and the idea of gliding as well, so this is a pretty big accomplishment!

While I am so happy for him, at the same all I can think is "slow down time!" It's hard to believe Brian and I known each other for a decade, been married for nearly nine years, Grant is six and Hannah is seven months old. It's all been the blink of an eye. I can tend to constantly be looking forward to the next thing, which really causes me to forget to enjoy today and what's going on now. Yes, being a mom is exhausting, but their is no place I'd rather be than with my family.

As the new school year starts my time with the kids and Brian decreases greatly. I'm really going to be working to spend quality time with them each day. The rush of dinner and cleaning and baths makes the time fly, ends up with me just checking things off my list. I want to work to be present at home, off social media, and remembering how quickly time flies and work to enjoy the time I have with my family now.

I recently scored this top in Old Navy for $5. I love the cute and style. It will easily transition to wearing for school with my white jeans too, which I love. I have a handful of these cardigans from J.Crew Factory. I love the cut and style and they are the perfect laying piece for a tank or over dresses for school. I just ordered one in white too, which I'm looking forward to getting. My old one from Kohls needed to be retired, so it was time to buy. : )

Winter Garden: Book Review

Last week I finished reading Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah, and let me tell you, it was amazing! My first Kristin Hannah book was The Nightingale, one of my favorite books of all time, so I was excited to see this one was finally available at the library.

In this story, Meredith and Nina are sisters, who are now grown, but have tried to earn their mother's love for most of their lives. Their mother, Anja, who is of Russian descent is as hard as stone. She had a life before them, a life full of mystery. It isn't until the girls' father makes the girls promise to get to know their mom before he abruptly dies that their mom's past begins to surface.  

This story is beautifully written and full of mystery. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to find common ground, and this story will take Meredith, Nina, and Anja on a journey of discovery that will change each of them forever.

Thanks!

First off, thanks for all your thoughts on my Norstrom post on Friday, I'm glad I'm not alone! I feel like so much of life is about balance. That doesn't mean everything needs to be equal, but that we spend our time and energy in the right places. When too much is spend in the wrong areas, everything around you suffers. I am so far from perfect, but working to use the time I'm given well. It's so great to hear that so many of you feel the same way. : )

 I wore this one day last week, but plan to wear it for one of our work day's before school start. I love the pattern mixing and jewel tones are my jam!