Back when the movie, Fireproof came out, nearly eight years ago now, my small group did a study on it and the book The Love Dare, if you're not familiar with it, it is a book focused on the marriage relationship. At the time, Brian and I were still practically newly weds and pre-kids, so our marriage looked very different than it does now. I dutifully did each daily devotional and challenge, but couldn't always relate to everything the author had to say, as marriage was still so fresh.
Now, a decade into knowing each other and two kids later, I felt like doing the Love Dare again would be good. Not because we are having problems, but because I feel like I take Brian for granted. Lately everyone has been doing the 7 day "Love Your Spouse" challenge on Facebook, then I stumbled across this blog post, which I think can give a much more realistic look at marriage, not all at the same time, but I totally relate! You should totally read it!
That being said, life has changed dramatically since Hannah's arrival, and I feel like it would be really easy to become "ships that pass in the night" and two people who fall asleep each night watching t.v., instead of really talking.
I thought I'd spend some time sharing things I'm learning over the next few weeks, and I want to encourage you to check out The Love Dare for yourself too!
One caveat I want to mention is that it can be really easy to read any of the daily devotionals in this book and think, "If my husband would only...." but that's not the purpose of this book. It's not to "fix" our husbands, it's to become better wives, and I truly believe the result will be a better husband in the end.
The first day was focused on the verse in Ephesians 4:2 which says, "Be completely humble and gently, be patient bearing with one another in love."
The author states that Love is something we all thirst for, and that it's primarily built on patience and kindness. Love inspires you to be a better person and to respond to difficult situations with patience and kindness, not with impatience and anger.
The statement above is one I wholeheartedly agree with, especially when I'm well rested and have had my cup of coffee, while the kids nicely play together. Can I get an Amen? It's totally different when I've been up with Hannah, Grant is driving me bananas about wanting to have yet another friend over, because playing without his friends is no fun, and Brian walks in the door ready for dinner and I'm not done making it. I definitely am not feeling particularly patient or kind at that very moment, and it's easy for me to take it out on Brian, even if he had nothing to do with any of my frustrations all day long. However, even if I am frustrated with him about something, no good will come from me being short tempered with him about it. Even though I know this is true, it can really take work.
The author states that anger is usually caused when a strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment. Wow, that's a pretty good definition in my book. I usually have a strong desire for things to go my way, and when they don't I'm disappointed, and when left to my own devices can become angry.
The author poses the question: "What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: 'See that no one repays another with evil or evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another?' (1 Thessalonians 5:15) Whoa.
The dare for the day was to make sure to say nothing negative to my husband all day, and if something negative is said to me, choose to say nothing at all. On this specific day, the challenge was pretty easy, but it's something the author continues to encourage in days following. Patience has power, and our love for our families and spouses should encourage as to be patient, even when it's hard. It can change the who tone of the home.
Tomorrow I'm going to share some more things I'm learning. What to do you think about the author's take on love?
These heels came from thredUP a year and a half ago and I'm excited to wear them again, as they didn't work with my swollen pregnant feet. They are Betsey Johnson and were a steal! I know I haven't said much about thredUP on here this summer. Everytime I've gotten credits I've used them on clothes for Hannah this fall and not for myself. It really is my favorite place to buy like-new clothes at discount prices. If you haven't tried it yet use this link for $10 off your first purchase!
top: Merona similar with sleeves
pants: Loft similar
neckalce and bracelet: Kendra Scott c/o Rocksbox
heels: betsey johnson via ThredUp similar