Wednesday, December 14, 2016
If I'm Being Honest....
This picture might look nice and peaceful, but it was taken last week at the end of a realllllyyyy long day. For real.
If I'm being honest, the hour or so after we get home from school is not my favorite time of day. In between trying to unload and reload the dishwasher, make dinner, and take care of the kids and the dog I about go insane.
Until it got cold things were much more simple. Grant would play across the street with friends and Gracie would be outside, doing what dogs do. That left Hannah and I and it was so much simpler. I could give her a snack and do my thing pretty well.
Now, it's a different. Hannah really is a tiny tornado, making a mess everywhere she goes and she has a huge fascination with the dog's food and water. She is also really vocal and wants my full attention and I can't give it to her. She's also ready to eat at 5:00 and now we don't eat dinner until 6:00 because of my husband's work schedule. I can't simply feed her early or give her a snack though. Our dog has food issues and doesn't understand boundaries. When it's nice, I stuck her outside, but now she goes behind the baby gate and whines. Super annoying.
Grant obviously isn't playing outside because it's so cold, so he wants me to be his buddy to play with and I obviously can't and get dinner done, so I feel like a ping pong ball- take a minute to work on Grant with his advent activity, move Hannah away from the dog's food, clean up a new mess she's made, listen to the dog whine, try to unload the dishwasher, try to make dinner, Brian calls, Chelsea, calls, and then repeat.
Grant does try to help and he acknowledges how hard I work as a mom, but just the other day he commented on how mad I got around this time of day, obviously I'm not hiding my emotions like I think I am. He wasn't being rude, he was simply making a very actuate but disappointing observation.
After dinner things so much smoother and I think we all have a nice time in the evening, but something has to give during that hour. My attitude has to change and although my husband has told me I can quit making dinner, he's ok with us just "fending for ourselves," I'm not ok with that.
In the midst of my anxiety I haven't been thinking about God, at all. I get so overwhelmed with the tasks I let them consume me. After some thought, yesterday I started listening to Christian radio during this time of day, I think that's a good place to start and as for the dog. I'm pretty sure she'll survive in the basement where I can't hear her whine and can give Hannah a snack freely. Things went much better too, and the only difference was my attitude.
I get to see the kids so little during the day, I want to use that time well to make them feel loved.